tinkle tinkle little stall

Time and again, it becomes necessary to use a public toilet. I have some reservation about using said toilets because I am not delighted by the notion that I have no control over the cleanliness of said toilet or who has been sitting on it. I will go to some very serious lengths to avoid the mere thought of using a public toilet because I hate them so very much.

It has happened to me that it has been unavoidable to use such facilities and I have given in to using them to avoid using my own pants as an alternative. I always find the experience disgusting but there have also been times I have been super grateful for their existence. On the whole though, I find that its always pretty much the same. Even if it is a "clean" bathroom.

You walk in. The smell of other peoples bums mingled with disinfectant and moldy paper towels hits you in the face. If you are unfortunate, a line awaits you. Some other people who's butts you are surely to smell. A line, you must wait in until a "room" opens up and you are allowed to sit on the previous occupant's warmth. If you are fortunate, no line so then, anxiety over which stall to peek into bubbles up. Will it be empty of debris? Will there be a floater??

You finally decide on a stall and enter, shutting behind you the door that almost entirely conceals your soon to be naked butt. Droplets on the seat, are they tinkle? Are they "spray" from an industrial strength toilet flush? Where are the latex gloves? Or, should I just put 20 paper toilet seat covers on top of them and hope? Hope that the toilet is not self flushing so your seat covers are sucked down into the toilet just as you get your pants down far enough to hover over them thus spraying your naked butt with "water" all while the person next to you is plopping. Come on, courtesy flush! You hope that puddle is......water? Someone farts. Someone tries the door. Someone is having a phone conversation. IS that puddle water? Does that foot thing mean the same thing in a woman's bathroom? The nightmare is complete.

You hurry to wash your hands and hope you can use a towel to touch the door handle. (because not everyone does wash) eeeewww

I will avoid unless I can not. In which case, I will cringe and bear it.