Last weekend my hottie of a husband and I were at a local Denny's (which is not something we usually do but were feeling in the mood to transport ourselves back to high school)
There were, at the after hours hang out,the usual suspects lurking about, we saw the high school jocks who were with their dad who was clearly still "livin the dream", around the corner there were the tech kids from school who all believe that actors are an extra on the stage and they could really just put out a killer light show and wow the crowd.
There were some goths outside smoking, but I guess now they call them emo. I saw some popular girls, but they left with all the disdain that they entitle themselves to. We celebrated as a merry band of geeks trotted by and dared to sit at the bar where I always assumed only the dirty truckers sat. We also observed the sexually active teenage couple who could not eat their own food but had to have a disgusting exchange of food during a long and repellent kiss. There were also a whole crowd of island kids who genuinely looked hungry and like they might have a legitimate reason to be there.
There was, of course, the mom with all the screaming kids and no bra (classic) and the couple who surely loved Elvis and drove an old pickup truck and had lived in their house in Central for about forty years all while ignoring any kind of advances in fashion or technology. And we cant forget the couple who were clearly fighting and wished Denny's had a special domestic violence room that allowed them to fight and get something to eat at the same time.
Our waitress was nice and competent and I had no complaints about her. She seemed to be happy to be at work, which is not something one usually gets at a Denny's late at night.
As we ate our, well for lack of a better term, food, and noticed the aroma of the coffee that smelled as if it may have been scraped off of the bottom of the blacktop, I realized that I had no desire to hurt our very unusual waitress. Now if that seems normal to you and nothing special to report about I say to you that you have not been truthful to yourselves.
I announced to my husband that I felt that our waitress fell below the Stababilty Scale. You see, almost everyone else in the restaurant falls somewhere on the scale. Heck, if I am really honest with myself, almost everyone falls on the scale somewhere. If you are unfamiliar with the Stabability Scale let me enlighten you.
There were, at the after hours hang out,the usual suspects lurking about, we saw the high school jocks who were with their dad who was clearly still "livin the dream", around the corner there were the tech kids from school who all believe that actors are an extra on the stage and they could really just put out a killer light show and wow the crowd.
There were some goths outside smoking, but I guess now they call them emo. I saw some popular girls, but they left with all the disdain that they entitle themselves to. We celebrated as a merry band of geeks trotted by and dared to sit at the bar where I always assumed only the dirty truckers sat. We also observed the sexually active teenage couple who could not eat their own food but had to have a disgusting exchange of food during a long and repellent kiss. There were also a whole crowd of island kids who genuinely looked hungry and like they might have a legitimate reason to be there.
There was, of course, the mom with all the screaming kids and no bra (classic) and the couple who surely loved Elvis and drove an old pickup truck and had lived in their house in Central for about forty years all while ignoring any kind of advances in fashion or technology. And we cant forget the couple who were clearly fighting and wished Denny's had a special domestic violence room that allowed them to fight and get something to eat at the same time.
Our waitress was nice and competent and I had no complaints about her. She seemed to be happy to be at work, which is not something one usually gets at a Denny's late at night.
As we ate our, well for lack of a better term, food, and noticed the aroma of the coffee that smelled as if it may have been scraped off of the bottom of the blacktop, I realized that I had no desire to hurt our very unusual waitress. Now if that seems normal to you and nothing special to report about I say to you that you have not been truthful to yourselves.
I announced to my husband that I felt that our waitress fell below the Stababilty Scale. You see, almost everyone else in the restaurant falls somewhere on the scale. Heck, if I am really honest with myself, almost everyone falls on the scale somewhere. If you are unfamiliar with the Stabability Scale let me enlighten you.
It is a 1-10 scale.
1- a desire to hurt but not wound so just a slight grazing of an appendage.
2- a desire to hurt and leave a mark. Band aid required.
3- A deep stab through leg flesh. Stitches required and they may limp for the remainder of their lives.
4- Stabbing an organ like the appendix that you can loose and not miss. This one could even be considered helpful to the recipient but is none the less satisfying.
5- Stab to the face. Not in the eye but enough to cause severe facial scaring.
6- A stab so hard you loose a finger or toe.
7- Stabbing a vital organ.
8- Multiple stab wounds but not fatal. Hospitalization is required.
9- A good old fashion stab to the Eye!!
10- OJ Simpson. You know.
1- a desire to hurt but not wound so just a slight grazing of an appendage.
2- a desire to hurt and leave a mark. Band aid required.
3- A deep stab through leg flesh. Stitches required and they may limp for the remainder of their lives.
4- Stabbing an organ like the appendix that you can loose and not miss. This one could even be considered helpful to the recipient but is none the less satisfying.
5- Stab to the face. Not in the eye but enough to cause severe facial scaring.
6- A stab so hard you loose a finger or toe.
7- Stabbing a vital organ.
8- Multiple stab wounds but not fatal. Hospitalization is required.
9- A good old fashion stab to the Eye!!
10- OJ Simpson. You know.
Now you may not want to admit it but, everyone, at some point, wants to kill someone else they know. Even if it is just a little bit.
We left Denny's and I am sure that the couple sitting behind us was more than just a little glad to see us go. I wish I would have had the guts to turn around and tell the woman where her nasty gazes my direction had landed her on the scale. But I guess she will just have to wonder.
Just for clarification, I have never stabbed anyone. But that does not mean I have never thought about it!!
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NEVER????? I think I may remember an incident involving an eyeliner. Thanks for the laugh I needed it.
ReplyDeleteOh, the graphic RULES! As do you and your crazy and very lovable family.
ReplyDeleteI love ya Mandy! You are an amazing writer. I was fully entertained while reading. I miss you! Dilya
ReplyDeletewell..Let me just say that I was at Dennys as well the other Morning and let me tell ya the AM crowd is not much better than the PM..I love Dennys for the simple people watching experience...
ReplyDelete