St. Patrick's Day

Today is my Grandma's birthday. She is turning 89 which is crazy old and despite being a member of my insanely funny family is not, herself that amusing. (unless you count being cold and distant funny) But, I do credit her with the insanity of at least part of my family because it was her special brand of crazy that produced my mother and therefore my own personal brand.

Being that it is her birthday I have, for weeks, been toiling about what gift she might like to receive. Nothing comes to mind and I began to assess why I was having such trouble. I decided it is simple. She is old and there is no gift to give a woman who is basically awaiting death.
I thought for a moment that dressing up as death and paying her a visit might be appropriate and then the shock of it might get the job done and for that, she might thank me.

I also toyed with the idea of pitching in for a casket. Practical and beautiful, a wining combination. This too had to be abandoned due to financial shortcomings. The thought also occurred to me to send her a pillow and a weight, but again, no, it just did not fit. (and she might not be able to lift the weight).

I finally came to the conclusion that I should just send her some arsenic with a card that says "Bon Voyage", but Nathan reminded me that sending that kind of stuff through the mail was a federal offense so, nix on that one too. I guess a card that says"too bad you are old and this card is my gift" will have to do. I hope she likes it..


I'll let you know!